he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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