I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
