I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
dude. I can hear the air.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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