now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
