fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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