Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
