9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
