Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
