they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
