dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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