i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
