I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
