Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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