So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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