I look better un-naked...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
