Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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