she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
