sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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