i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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