I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
