Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
