I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
