Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
