ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
