As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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