Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
