I want to have your abortion
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
