Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
