shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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