im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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