How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
