I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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