i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
