dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
