it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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