i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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