I am puke
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
