I just threw up on my dentist
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
