we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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