so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
