they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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