He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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