if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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