I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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