haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
