in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
