2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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