In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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