YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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