dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
