I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
